When you boil a guy down to his core essence, the desire to get laid drives everything. Without it, there is no motivation to excel, succeed or even be relevant. Whether or not he actually gets laid isn’t important.

Here are seven tell-tale signs that you’ve simply given up on impressing the opposite sex, and thus, given up on life. If any of these pertain to you, do something about it. Now!

The Presence of Velcro

Shoes that stay on with a couple strips of Velcro are highly recommended—for the elderly. If you’re not, then learn how to deal with a pair of shoelaces. Or a shoehorn, at least. And if your wallet closes with a strip of Velcro, just end it already. What are you, 12? A grown man’s wallet has no hooks or loops, and it’s made of something called leather. Look into it.

A F**ked-Up Grill

If you have missing teeth, rotting teeth, fizzing teeth, teeth that are no longer teeth but disgusting black nubs, make it your no. 1 priority to get to a dentist and have that ish taken care of.
A Dilapidated Ride

If you’re gonna commit to owning a vehicle, you must also commit all available money to making sure it functions, is free of demolition-derby-size dents, has matching wheels and/or wheel caps, etc. And unless you’re on a stakeout, toss the fast food wrappers, coffee cups and used condoms into the proper receptacles pronto.

Elastic Waistbands

There’s a reason why underwear has them and outerwear shouldn’t. Because they’re not meant to be seen, chief! Unless you’re at the gym, wearing sweatpants in public (or worse, wearing jeans or slacks that have elastic anywhere in the waistband region) screams to the world that you’re too lazy to enlist or require the services of a belt.

Your Aim Sucks

Leaving droplets of pee on the toilet seat, the rim of the toilet bowl and the surrounding floor in a public restroom doesn’t automatically eliminate you from the ranks of guys who get laid. But when you do so in your own home, you simply don’t care anymore. You’re really gonna expose a woman to that mess?

Using Paper AND Plastic

Certain things should never be used inside the home. Gas-powered generators, for example. Because they’ll kill you. The same goes for plastic eating utensils, paper plates and anything else that might be utilized to consume food at a picnic. The sheer sloth of using this stuff under your own roof is beyond comprehension.

By: Chris Lathrop