The threat is real… one day there will be a zombie attack. That is not debatable, but what will you do? What happens when the zombie virus breaks out and they’re on the hunt of your brain?

If you’ve watched the move Zombieland, you are on step ahead. According to this ‘documentary’ there are 33 rules one must adhere to, to survive.

Let’s look at each rule a little more closey… This is our brains we are protecting! Some are a little self explanatory.

Rules:

1. Cardio
When zombies start roaming the earth… there will be a lot of running involved for the non-dead humans. If you are the slowest gazelle, your brain will be eaten, as simple as that. So, put down that double cheeseburger and go for a jog.

2. The Double Tap
Basically this is the age old truth of rather being safe than sorry. One extra bullet in the zombie corpse might save your brain.

3 Beware of bathrooms
I don’t have to explain this one, do I? We’ve all seen the Scream1-22200 movies… bathrooms, deserted movie theatres, etc. are made for killing. Zombies know this.

4. Wear Seat Belts
It doesn’t help you’re doing everything right and you end up face first on the paement, because you didn’t take the two seconds to strap yourself in.

5. No Attachments
It’s sad, but people bog you down. You’re faster on your own.

6. The “Skillet”
One of the best weapons ever. It doesn’t even take bullets.

7. Travel Light
Don’t pack your high heels or your unicorn diary… same reasons as no 4. The lighter you travel, the faster you can run.

8. Get a Kick Ass Partner
Back-up. Need I say more?

9. With your Bare Hands
It’s a weapom that’s always with you. Learn how to use it.

10. Don’t Swing Low
When using an axe or bat, aim for the head! They want your brain… splatter theirs. Again, better safe than sorry.

11. Use Your Foot

12. Bounty Paper Towels
It’s thick and absorbant. Good tool to wipe up any brain matter off your shoes.

13. Shake it off

14. Always carry a change of underwear

15. Bowling Ball

16. Opportunity Knocks

17. Don’t be a hero
Be a survivor. Possibly the most important rule of all. Don't risk your own life just to make yourself look good.

18. Limber Up
When approaching an area which will definitely or is likely to have zombies, it is always best to limber up using a few moves so that you are in peak physical condition when moving in.

19. Break it Up

20. It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint

21. Avoid Strip Clubs

22. When in doubt know your way out
You will always need to know the way out of every room of every building you enter, in case you are caught unaware.

23. Ziploc
Keep your matches and other explosive materials/weapons in Ziploc bags. You’ve got enough problems, moisture should not be one of them.

24. Use your thumbs

25. Shoot First

26. A little sunscreen never hurt anybody

27. Incoming!
Always be vigilant.

28. Double-Knot your Shoes
Same reason as the seatbelt…

29. The Buddy System
You can't always look in front of you and behind you at the same time
Combine this with no 8.

30. Pack your stain stick
To clean off brain matter, blood etc. off your shirt…

31. Check the back seat
Before getting into the car and driving off, check the back seat for any hiding zombies.

32. Enjoy the little things
Its the end of the world. Dont sweat the small stuff. Loot a neighbourhood or two, trash a car, speed! Do the little things and enjoy em. Who knows how long you have to live!

33. Swiss army Knife
First thing you should pack when you go out to hunt zombies.

 

 

Sources:
http://zombie.wikia.com/wiki/Zombieland_Survival_Rules
http://www.horror-movies.ca/horror_16631.html
http://www.zombielandrules.com/all-zombieland-rules/
 

This article makes me