Tips and Tricks for improving Eye Contact.
If you are meeting someone for the first time, talking to a girl or a boy you like or in an interview, the importance of making and keeping eye contact is crucial.
To begin with, eyes are one of the best attributes of human expression. They can be direct and elusive, as well as show a million different emotions in just one look. You can tell if someone is nervous, lying or in love by how their eyes behave, and by how they hold your gaze.
The trouble, especially if you are shy, is learning how to maintain eye contact and how to look someone in the eyes in a way that portrays confidence.
Tips and tricks to make eye contact easier.
Trick 1: Describe their eyes.
When you meet a person for the first time or while talking to someone you know, challenge yourself to find 10 characteristics in their eyes. What colour are they? What shape are they? How much whiteness is around the pupil? How many times do they blink?
Did you know: A study reported in the Journal of Research in Personality called “The Effects of Mutual Gaze on Feelings of Romantic Love” proved that people who were directed to count each other’s eye blinks during a conversation developed stronger romantic feelings than members of a control group who were given no eye contact directions.
In your head while you are busy doing this, the perception created to the other person, is that you are deeply invested into the conversation. It comes across that you are interested in the person you are talking to and no one else. This is a great trick if you battle to hold eye contact for a period of time.
Trick 2: Practice the Searching Stare.
This technique is great for attraction and works for both sexes. It is also a perfect way to initiate eye contact with a person in a group of friends whom you do not really know.
How it is done: “Imagine yourself driving on a winding country road in a sparsely populated part of the country. The night is inky black, no street lights. Suddenly, a dense fog encircles you and your car stalls. You pray there is a house in the distance so you can call for help. You get out of the car, squint your eyes, and search intently through the thick fog for any sign of light. You have now have executed Step One of Searching Eyes.
Step Two: Finally you see the distant headlights of a car coming your way. At last, help. Your face relaxes and a slight smile softens your lips.” – Leil Lowndes
The purpose of making eye contact like this, is to give the impression to the other person that you are assessing them in a thoughtful manner. It shows that you are taking the time to really see who they are. The smile at the end is to show approval. Warning, if you do Step One too long, you come across as judgmental and weird.
Trick 3: An Eye for an Eye.
You may be hesitant at first to make eye contact but the secret is that the other person is just as hesitant. The bigger secret is that once eye contact has been made, and the initial hesitation is over, that mutual gazing is easy to maintain. It is like you have both given your approval and permission. The tough part is breaking that barrier.
Trick 4: Work your way up.
Mastering eye contact does not have to be done in one day. Work your way up. Start by practicing with characters on television Then move on to family and friends. Finally, do the same with strangers and new people that you meet.